SPEAKING.APP

Example pitch analysis

Sam Altman's 2008 Loopt pitch analysis
Transcript
Highlights
We are incredibly psyched about Loopt on the iPhone. Loopt is about connecting with people on the go, which is, after all, the main reason you have a phone. We show you where people are, what they're doing, and what cool places are around you. The orange pin up there is where I am right now and the blue pins represent my friends. We make serendipity happen. It's amazing how often you're at a restaurant a couple of blocks away from a friend or stuck in an airport with an old classmate and don't know about it. We'll show you that. This is the best version of Loopt that we have ever made, uh, and by far the best device we've ever had the opportunity to work with. We've developed for nearly every mobile platform out there. This one is the best and the most powerful. So James is navigating the map just like you'd expect, by pinching and dragging and tapping, and we can see that there are some friends down south. A friend of mine is driving across the Golden Gate Bridge, um, and here are some friends that are very nearby us right now. We can tap the map a few times to zoom in, uh, and as we zoom in, we see that there's one friend very, very close, so we can tap on that, uh, dot and it's Erin Easter, and she's only a few blocks away, and so we can see what she's been doing today. This is called her journal. Photos she's taken, text she's entered, all of this tied to places and shareable with any other service she'd like. And the thing in blue is a comment that her friend has left earlier today. So we can tap on that top entry that says,"Back at the cutest little cafe," uh, and we can tap on it again and that photo will enlarge. So that does actually look pretty cool and I don't have lunch plans today, so we'll see if she's free. So we can go back, I could call her or I could text her, we integrate with the native iPhone APIs, but I'll leave a comment, uh, and I'll say,"Free for lunch?" If she is free, then I can get directions to her in one click, in one line of code, another example of the power of the SDK. And this is really all an example of the power of location. Location plus a contact list and information about cool places means you never have to eat lunch alone again, or at a bad place. And we think that's really cool, we really do. Um, you can use Loopt with your friends on most other carriers or devices in the US. We are the largest social mapping service in the world and very happy to announce that Loopt will be free on the iPhone and in the App Store at launch. Anyway, we think this is a new era of mobile, we're thrilled to be part of it. Thanks very much.
Your Pitch Summary

This is a clear, product-forward pitch that makes Loopt easy to visualize and genuinely desirable through the “meet up in the moment” story. It leaves an investor intrigued, but still missing the business proof and the explicit next step that turns a great demo into a fundable pitch.

Pitch Anatomy
9/10 covered

Common investor pitch elements. Not every pitch needs all of them.

How It Works takes 58% of your pitch
Not Covered
Improved Version
513612 words (+19%)
Phones are for connecting with people. Loopt makes that connection happen in the real world by showing you where your friends are and what cool places are around you, right when you need it. Too often you are a couple blocks from a friend at a restaurant, or stuck in the same airport as an old classmate, and you never find out until it is too late. Those meetups do not happen because you do not have the context of who is nearby and what is going on. Loopt is a location-based social app for iPhone that helps you meet up effortlessly. You see where your friends are, what they are doing, and what is worth doing around you. In short, we make serendipity happen. Here is what it looks like on iPhone. On the map, the orange pin is me right now, and the blue pins are my friends. You navigate the map the way you would expect by pinching, dragging, and tapping. When we zoom in, we can spot a friend who is very close. Tap that friend and you land on her profile. For example, this is Erin Easter. She is a few blocks away. You can see what she has been doing today in her journal: photos and text entries tied to specific places, and comments her friends have left. If I want to meet up, I can act immediately. I can call her or text her using the iPhone’s built-in features. Or I can leave a comment like “Free for lunch?” If she is free, I can get directions to her with one tap. More broadly, this shows the power of location. Location plus your contact list plus information about great places nearby means you never have to eat lunch alone again, or end up at a bad place. Loopt is built for people who are out and about and want to connect with friends in the moment. You can use Loopt with friends on most other phone networks or devices in the US, so it works even if not everyone has an iPhone yet. [Not covered in the original pitch. Consider adding who the core user is (students, urban professionals, travelers), and a simple market size framing (TAM/SAM/SOM) to show how big this can get.] We are the largest social mapping service in the world. [Not covered in the original pitch. Consider adding 2 to 3 proof points such as total users, active users, growth rate, engagement, or key distribution partners to make “largest” concrete.] At launch, Loopt will be free on the iPhone in the App Store. [Not covered in the original pitch. Consider adding how you will monetize over time (for example: local advertising, promoted places, premium features, or partnerships), and what you have learned so far about what users and businesses will pay for.] This is the best version of Loopt we have ever made, and the iPhone is by far the best device we have had the opportunity to work with. Our team has developed for nearly every mobile platform out there, and we know how to ship products that work across devices and networks. [Not covered in the original pitch. Consider ending with a clear next step. For example: “We’re looking for [investment amount] to grow the team and scale distribution,” or “We want partnerships with carriers, local place providers, and developers who want to integrate Loopt features.”] We think this is a new era of mobile. Loopt is about turning the phone into something that helps you connect in the moment, based on where you are and who you are near. We are thrilled to be part of that shift.

Hook

Phones are for connecting with people. Loopt makes that connection happen in the real world by showing you where your friends are and what cool places are around you, right when you need it.

Problem

Too often you are a couple blocks from a friend at a restaurant, or stuck in the same airport as an old classmate, and you never find out until it is too late. Those meetups do not happen because you do not have the context of who is nearby and what is going on.

Solution

Loopt is a location-based social app for iPhone that helps you meet up effortlessly. You see where your friends are, what they are doing, and what is worth doing around you. In short, we make serendipity happen.

How It Works

Here is what it looks like on iPhone. On the map, the orange pin is me right now, and the blue pins are my friends. You navigate the map the way you would expect by pinching, dragging, and tapping. When we zoom in, we can spot a friend who is very close. Tap that friend and you land on her profile. For example, this is Erin Easter. She is a few blocks away. You can see what she has been doing today in her journal: photos and text entries tied to specific places, and comments her friends have left. If I want to meet up, I can act immediately. I can call her or text her using the iPhone’s built-in features. Or I can leave a comment like “Free for lunch?” If she is free, I can get directions to her with one tap. More broadly, this shows the power of location. Location plus your contact list plus information about great places nearby means you never have to eat lunch alone again, or end up at a bad place.

Market

Loopt is built for people who are out and about and want to connect with friends in the moment. You can use Loopt with friends on most other phone networks or devices in the US, so it works even if not everyone has an iPhone yet. [Not covered in the original pitch. Consider adding who the core user is (students, urban professionals, travelers), and a simple market size framing (TAM/SAM/SOM) to show how big this can get.]

Traction

We are the largest social mapping service in the world. [Not covered in the original pitch. Consider adding 2 to 3 proof points such as total users, active users, growth rate, engagement, or key distribution partners to make “largest” concrete.]

Business Model

At launch, Loopt will be free on the iPhone in the App Store. [Not covered in the original pitch. Consider adding how you will monetize over time (for example: local advertising, promoted places, premium features, or partnerships), and what you have learned so far about what users and businesses will pay for.]

Team

This is the best version of Loopt we have ever made, and the iPhone is by far the best device we have had the opportunity to work with. Our team has developed for nearly every mobile platform out there, and we know how to ship products that work across devices and networks.

Ask

[Not covered in the original pitch. Consider ending with a clear next step. For example: “We’re looking for [investment amount] to grow the team and scale distribution,” or “We want partnerships with carriers, local place providers, and developers who want to integrate Loopt features.”]

Vision

We think this is a new era of mobile. Loopt is about turning the phone into something that helps you connect in the moment, based on where you are and who you are near. We are thrilled to be part of that shift.

Message Clarity

4 jargon terms, 3 complex sentences found

Jargon

native iPhone APIsthe iPhone’s built-in features (like calling, texting, and maps) that our app can use
1:30
SDKa set of developer tools that makes it easy to add Loopt features to an app
1:41
carriersphone networks (like AT&T or Verizon)
1:57
social mapping servicean app that shows you and your friends on a map so you can meet up
2:00
Vocal Expression

Your vocal energy and emotional tone over time

Monotone
Flat
3
Conversational
Expressive
Dynamic
Expressiveness
TenseUneasyCalmEngagedJoyful

Dominant expressions:Interest, Determination, Concentration

Your voice comes across focused and upbeat with steady confidence, with moments of excitement, but you could use bigger pace and emphasis shifts to make the biggest beats unmistakable.

Speaking Pace

Average Pace

244 WPM

Too Fast

Adjust
Good
Perfect
Min: 212 WPMMax: 277 WPM
Delivery

5 notable moments in your vocal delivery

Excellent (3)

Needs Work (2)

Weak Words

No weak words detected

🎉
No weak words detected!
Strong, confident language
Filler Words
7
TOTAL
uh5
um2

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