How can I remember when to use 'whom'?

fromWho vs. Whomin Language Fundamentals
Replace with 'him' or 'her'—if it works, use 'whom.' 'To whom should I speak?' = 'Should I speak to him?' If you'd use 'he' or 'she,' use 'who.' When in doubt, 'who' is usually acceptable in modern business communication.

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Who vs. Whom

Use 'who' for subjects, 'whom' for objects, or simplify the sentence.

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